It has quite literally been almost a year since I last blogged! I started a journey since then into bettering my life, being there to chase beautiful couples on the happiest days of their lives, playing with my growing toddler and following my husband through this life without pain. I have (hopefully) reached the end to that path. Finally!!
I was cleared to start walking with all my weight on both legs earlier last month. Why is that special more than the rest of my 32 years of life? After 57 days in March and 42 days in December, and my 5th hip surgery to round out 2020 I can move one foot in front of the other. I am happy to say that I am off of crutches while walking small distances. This year rocked me to my core on top of our ongoing pandemic. The most difficult year of my life thus far.
The last 3 months have been relaxing, eye opening, frustrating, and fun. My last two surgeries were in October, and all things considering has gone smooth for the most part. I was familiar with what recovery looked like, and I don't know if it was that it’s not my driving leg; but has felt so much faster. I am still having to rest between moments of walking and find it hard to pace myself.
The season of Covid, with your son and husband going along with day to day things while you are stuck on the couch feels alone and a lot. Luckily, I have an amazing support system. My amazing husband Zach, my friends, family and always the smile of my son keeps me going. I also invest into helping my mental health by speaking to a therapist and my doctor. I am immensely thankful for them through navigating these times.
It is amazing that this year I have been home 6.5 months to spend time with the ones I love. Although, I am so much the person that has constant things on my to do list, have concerts to go to, friends to hang out with; and much like everyone else have struggled with letting all of those things go. There is so much time to think, reflect, and obsess. I personally have a problem with not having an objective or task to accomplish during the day and have slowly come to accept the new pace of life.
What a change 7 pieces of metal can make
I was born with hip dysplasia on both sides, as well as clubbed feet. My parents only knew about my feet, as they were going in the same direction and they didn't do further xrays in the 80’s. I was corrected and moved onto having a normal childhood. I did not know about my hips until I was 28 years old. I was moving every day all day and running the (very) occasional 5k, and it came as a huge shock in what was entailed in its fixing.
I have been in pain moving, shooting, working and sleeping the last 7 years. As long as I have been in business! I didn't know what was wrong, but went to see a chiropractor first. No matter how many adjustments I had, I felt the same after a few days. Little did I know that the labrum muscles that surround my hip socket on the inside were torn on both sides. As well as, my sockets were too shallow to support the weight of my body. They needed to be cups instead of dishes, to put it simply. I was told that I needed surgical intervention to make my sockets stronger by moving them to a better angle and reshaping. To cut the pelvis in three spots, rotate, and screw in place. As well as take out these muscles inside the joint and replace them, as they couldn’t heal on their own. I was obviously overwhelmed, but slowly accepted that this needed to happen based upon my continued pain. Even the MRI’s for these were painful, and I was quickly thrust into the seriousness of the surgeries and recovery that had to take place.
I sadly didn’t take this pain seriously and follow my referrals to an orthopedic surgeon until I was so newly pregnant that I didn’t know yet, 3 years ago while going up to Breckenridge to relax with my photographer girlfriends. A good time to decompress and think before things get real before I even knew I needed it.
I started with two procedures on my right side this January, and went back to work full time as a medical receptionist 3 months later. Little did I know, I suffered from a bone infection when I was opened up, and my screws in my pelvis started rejecting out of my body. These bumps in my skin I thought were scar tissue, but increasingly got more and more painful.
I went back in to have them replace these screws, and I was administered antibiotics through a picc line for 6 weeks. Anyone who has a latex or adhesive allergy and has to have them both on your skin without question can tell you how painful it is to have bandages on 100% of the time. This catheter in my underarm went straight to my heart, so keeping it clean and covered was key. I had a nurse come to change my bandages and let my skin breathe for a few minutes once a week. Admittedly I risked infection by itching so bad multiple times that my dressing came off between visits. I have underlying eczema exasperated by sweat, and it seemed that when I sweat, and in the middle of summer- it got significantly more painful. I didn’t know I was allergic before this happened, and I really don’t wish that on anyone. Self administering antibiotics once a day, keeping it refrigerated and needing to do it in a sterile environment were challenging with a toddler.
Look at those FEET!!!!!
I feel like I have overcome so much, and it has felt like so much less time than it has been from start to end. I have been working with physical therapy to get stronger. I have been taking this break to refresh business workflows and update my website and media. I am so grateful for a literal team of doctors and surgeons that have made have reconstructed my body. Dr White and Dr Swann, among so many others, I will never have enough thank you's to say. Onto the next chapter!
Even despite these things, I have had the honor of shooting 3 weddings, 3 couples, 3 seniors, 2 gender reveals, 4 families and 1 themed shoot this year. Thanks to everyone that continues to support and believe in me, and my clients that work with me through all of it. It means the world!
So much love to these people!
